When She Cries
by Mis Chi Evous
Summary: A song fic on Goku's thoughts before he returns to Earth in the Buu Saga. Song copyrighted by Restless Heart.


When She Cries

Respectfully dedicated to those who missed me in my leave-of-absence from the DBZ fanfiction world. I am eternally grateful to all of you for encouraging me to start writing again.

As he waited patiently for the hag to come get him to take him back to Earth, Goku thought for a few fleeting moments on his wife. The love of his life, the mother of his children, the dream that he had never had until he met her. She was beautiful, yes, she was his, and that brought a sort of pride to him, but there was so much more to her, and their relationship than that. 

_The road I have traveled on,_

_Is paved with good intentions_

_It's littered with broken dreams_

_That never quite came true._

Goku had faced monsters in his life, demons that sometimes still returned to haunt him, but never in all of his life had he meant to abandon his wife. In fact, he had intended to return alive and well from every fight he had ever participated in. It hurt Chichi when he didn't and when Chichi was hurt Goku was hurt. His life had certainly not turned out the way he had planned, and neither did Chichi's life turn out to be the way she had pictured it to be. He tried to console himself with the assurance that Chichi had known what she was getting herself into, but it didn't help. No one deserved to be treated the way he had treated her, despite the fact that he hadn't ever planned on it being that way.

_When all of my hopes were dyin'_

_Her love kept me trying._

_She does her best to hide,_

_The pain that she's been through_

Most people assumed that Chichi bitterly opposed his fighting. She didn't. In fact, she was quite proud of him for being the brilliant martial artist that he was. The thing she was bitterly opposed to was his habit of encountering mortal danger every other year. Once she became used to the idea that aliens were trying to take over the world (even Goku had to admit that was a bit much for someone to grasp), she had supported him, raised his son and tried to cut the apron strings much earlier than she wanted to. It was Goku's private opinion that Chichi was much stronger and braver than he would ever be. It didn't take a lot to be the strongest warrior in the universe. It took a lot to be married to one.

_When she cries, at night,_

_And she doesn't think that I can hear her._

_She tries, to hide, _

_All the fear she feels inside._

_So I pray, this time, _

_I can be the man that she deserves_

_Coz I die, a little each time,_

_When she cries_

Chichi never cried. She threw fits, she got angry, she yelled and she screamed, she cried angry tears, but Chichi _never_ cried real tears. Except at night. 

The first time it had happened, Goku had been surprised and scared. Chichi cried in her sleep. Real tears that drifted down her face and carved out rivers on her cheekbones. Goku rarely hated anyone, but he hated himself at times like this for being the instrument of her pain. The night of before the Cell games had been the worst. Chichi had to say good-bye to the love of her life, and her son, all in the same moment. They had lain together that night for the longest time without saying anything. Goku wanted to come back, really he did, but he knew that the chances were slim, and Chichi seemed to know it, as well. 

He had then firmly resolved that if he returned, he would be the man that she needed. He wouldn't concern himself with fighting. Life would be what Chichi had always wanted, and he told her as much. She had laughed and shook her head. Goku wouldn't be Goku without fighting. 

"In fact," she had said, hiccupping slightly, "we would probably drive each other insane."

More tears had formed in her eyes when she saw his bright grin, and she took the time to memorize every angle of his face. He had bent down and tried to kiss away the tears. If he just reassured her enough that he loved her, maybe the pain of losing him wouldn't be so horribly hard to bear. He had sired Goten that night.

_She's always been there for me,_

_Whenever I've fallen._

_When nobody else believes,_

_She'll be there by my side_

_I don't know how she takes it,_

_Just once, I'd like to make it,_

_Then there'll be tears of joy to fill her lovin' eyes_

When Goku had been horribly, horribly sick with the heart virus, Chichi had clung on desperately to him. In some way, he couldn't help but feel slightly guilty that he had fallen ill when he had. The fate of the world had rested on his shoulders, and he was lying in bed, helpless. Chichi had never made him feel that way. She had let him cling to her in fits of deliria, when his control over his muscles was nonexistent and he might have crushed her. When he and the others were afraid that the anti-virus hadn't been working the way it should, even in the back of their minds, Chichi had told him forcefully that it had better work, because she wouldn't be responsible for her actions if she lost him. She had been serious at the time, but it had made him laugh.

She believed that Goku could do anything he set his mind to, and even when she deathly afraid for him, she made large cocky statements in his favor, knowing that somehow he would hear them and be reassured. 

He remembered something that King Kai had once told him. "Behind every good man, there's a better woman." Goku found himself agreeing with that more and more as the years went on.

 _When she cries, at night,_

_And she doesn't think that I can hear her._

_She tries, to hide, _

_All the fear she feels inside._

_So I pray, this time, _

_I can be the man that she deserves_

_Coz I die, a little each time,_

_When she cries_

Now, he had finally returned to Earth, if only for a little bit. He desperately hoped that the tears in her eyes this time would be happy. Maybe tonight she wouldn't cry. His day might be spent at the Tournament, but his night would be hers alone. There was nothing in their way_ this_ time. No Cell, no Freeza, no nobody. Just them. He knew exactly where he was going to kiss her, what he was going to say to her. While he was at the Tournament, he would focus his energy on that, but his mind would inevitably turn towards her. It always did.

He would finally get to meet his second son, the one that Chichi had named for him. The few glimpses he had been allowed through King Kai had not been enough. This child was one after his own heart- and one with his intelligence, too. He chuckled to think of how Chichi must be dealing with that.

The hag's voice told him harshly that it was time to go. He smiled happily, and he knew, in his heart, that Chichi would have to cry happy tears this time.


End file.
